Don’t Let Her Go If U Really Love Her!!!

If you love her, let her go.’ Why is that a saying? Why is that something we quote, hang on our walls, save to our Pinterest boards?

I’m going to have to push back  against the thought that someone who truly loves you will let you go. See, that thinking is foolish.

If you really love someone, if your heart is caught up and wrapped around a person, why on earth would you let them go? Why on earth would you say goodbye and watch from a distance, as they fall into the arms of someone else?

Maybe the whole idea is that true love comes back, and if you set it free, it returns. I do believe in the truth of that statement, in the sense that people who are meant to be together will find a way to each other. But does that mean I want someone who truly loves me to part ways with me, to move on? Does that mean I want the man who has mad feelings for me to simply pretend he doesn’t, in hopes that one day we’ll fall back into one another’s arms?

Absolutely not. That makes no sense.

When you love someone, you don’t let them go. You tell them, you pursue them, you care for them.

When you love someone, you don’t simply walk when times get tough. You don’t push them away for fear of getting too close or being broken. You don’t doubt yourself and your relationship, and therefore tell them to find what they’re looking for in someone else.

You don’t leave, hoping that one day you’ll find them again. Because love doesn’t work like that.

What if the person you let go isn’t looking for anyone else, but now has to, because they have no other choice? What if you tell them to go, and they eventually move on, and suddenly neither of you is truly happy? Or what if they find happiness? Then what?

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What if you lose out on a beautiful relationship, simply because you were too scared to take a chance?

If you love someone, tell them—that’s easy, that’s something we can all do. But what about pursuing someone you love, even when times are tough? Even when life hasn’t been easy? Even when you’ve fought and hurt one another so deeply? What then?

Do you have the courage to love? Or are you too quick to let them go, to fall into the temporary mentality of this world?

If you love her, you don’t leave her. It’s as simple as that.

It’s working on your problems, together. It’s fighting through the crap and drama and pain to find what first brought you together, and making that come alive again. It’s believing that your love is stronger, that your connection is real, that you don’t have to ‘see if you were meant to be’ by parting ways until you fall back into each other again—instead, you can work on your relationship right now.

Loving is not synonymous with leaving or letting go.

Love is present, is challenge, is learning, is finding a way to make it work. Love is not watching the woman you love slip out of your grasp—it’s hanging on and fighting against this world, hand-in-hand.

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By, Dikshit

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Happy National IceCream Day

10 facts you probably didn’t know about ICE CREAM

Yesterday, people have celebrated one of the most anticipated holidays in the history — National Ice cream Day. In 1984, Former President Ronald Reagan declared July as National Ice cream month and the third Sunday of it as the National Ice Cream Day. It is said that the late president recognized the popular dessert as a wholesome and nutritious food that is enjoyed by over 90% of the people in the United States. It was only proclaimed in the US but due to the deliciousness and popularity of ice cream, some countries also joined in the celebration including us, in Philippines.

So, you love ice cream but how depth is your knowledge about it?

Let me share these facts that you probably didn’t know about this all-time favorite dessert.

Did you know?

  • It was the Chinese who created the first concept of ice cream. It is believed that ice cream were originated on the idea of a simple dish of rice mixed with milk that was frozen due to being packed with snow. They are also said to be the men behind the invention of the first ice cream machine.
  • The first introduction of ice cream in America appeared in 1744. It was then followed by its first advertisement which appeared in New York Gazette back in 1777.
  • It was in 1851 when the first ice cream plant is opened. A milk dealer named Jacob Fussell became a successful businessman when he built an ice cream factory in Pennsylvania.
  • The tallest ice cream cone was achieved by Mirco Della Vecchia and Andrea Andrighetti. The cone is too tall having the measurement of 2.81m (9 ft 2.63 in) in height. The tallest cone got it to the Guinness World Record and is still unbeaten. By the way, the traditional waffle cone that we got used to made its debut back in 1904 at the World’s Fair in St. Louis, Missouri.
  • In celebration for WWII victory, Americans ate more than 20 quarts of ice cream per person.
  • Ice cream was once known as ‘cream ice’. It was King Charles I of England who was one of those people who once called ice cream as cream ice.
  • New Zealand is the biggest consumers of ice cream in the world ahead of Australia and the USA.
  • It takes 3 gallons of milk to make 1 gallon of ice cream.
  • “Brain freeze” occurs only when ice cream touches the roof of your mouth
  • According to several sources, it takes about 50 licks to consume a single scoop of ice cream.

“Life is like an ice cream. Enjoy it before it melts.”

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I Scream, u Scream, V all scream for ICE CREAMs

Y  there is an option in relationship.

We’ve all suffered through an almost relationship or two, because we hesitate to use titles.

Once we call someone our boyfriend or girlfriend, once we change our relationship status on Facebook, everything changes. If we flirt with someone else, we’re a player. If we kiss someone else, we’re a cheater.

But, as long as we haven’t given a title to our relationship yet, we feel like we can do whatever we want. If we flirt with someone else or even kiss someone else, it’s okay because we’re technically single.

And if the person we’ve been casually seeing gets pissed at us, then they’re the one at fault. They’re the crazy one. The clingy one. The one that fucked up by loving too hard before a relationship officially started.

As long as we aren’t in a serious relationship, we feel like we have permission to do whatever we want, to hurt whoever we want, without taking responsibility for it.

We hold off on naming things, because names give meaning.

That’s why we don’t have exes anymore. We have girls that we hooked up with. Girls that we once had a thing with. Girls that we once had feelings for, once imagined a future with, but nothing actually came from it.

We shy away from the idea of commitment, because we’re surrounded by options. Even after we find someone that we want to keep around, we still have dating apps on our phone. We might not use them, but they’re there — even if we decide to delete them from our screens, they only take a second to download again and our account is still alive, ready to use.

We’re the generation of divorced parents. We know that love doesn’t always last, that even once-happy marriages can end, so we think before we commit. We don’t want to make the same mistakes as our family members. So we’re extra careful. A little too careful.

Whenever there’s the slightest problem, we leave. Whenever we get bored, we leave. Whenever the spark fades, we leave.

We’re surrounded by almost relationships, because there’s nothing intimidating about them. You could end them at any time. You could even be in multiple almosts at once.

But serious relationships? They take effort, passion, dedication. And some of us aren’t ready for that.

But some of us are. And eventually, we’ll find each other.  

Dear God!! Please don’t Let me Get Attached to what is not meant for me

Dear God,

Please don’t let me get attached to what’s not meant for me anymore. Don’t let me get attached to something or someone that you plan on taking away from me.

I know your plan is unknown but until you reveal it to me, please make it easier. Don’t let me hold on to what I need to let go of. Don’t let me fight for what I need to release. Do not let me desire what will eventually destroy me. Do not let me love those who will break my heart.

Because I get attached easily and I hold on to things tightly, so please don’t let my mind want things that I can’t handle, don’t let my mind trick me into wanting things I don’t need or things that are not good for me. Please don’t let my heart miss people who don’t miss me. Don’t let my heart long for the ones who left. Don’t let my heart fall in love with someone who doesn’t want to stay.

Please don’t let me get attached to the things that keep me up at night, to people who leave me wondering and to places I’m not meant to live in. Bring me closer to what’s meant for me, let me hold on to those who are meant to stay.

But let me forget about the things that were never meant to be, give me the faith I need to believe that I’m better off without them. Give me the wisdom I need to realize that I deserve so much better and that I’ll be happier somewhere else with somebody else.

Or just give me tolerance I need right now to be okay with not getting the things I want, with not loving the ones I wanted to love and give me the patience I need to wait for your blessings and wait for your gifts.

But for now, please don’t let me get attached to what’s wrong for me. Don’t let me invest so much in things or people I’m bound to lose. Don’t let me want what’s not mine. Don’t let me build a future around what’s temporary.

This Is For The Woman Who Keeps On Forgiving.

Written by Someone Else.. but Feel like sharing on my Blog.

For so long you’ve defined yourself as the woman who cares, the woman who puts others first, the woman who ‘fixes’ people, who loves with all she has and is constantly guided by her big heart. You’ve been conditioned that to get through pain and to keep relationships and people happy, you must be willing to forgive mistakes, let the past go, and love without conditions. You’ve been wrapped in unhealthy connections for so long, you’ve allowed others to walk all over you in the name of love.

But in the back of your mind, you know better.

In the back of your mind, you know you’re being taken advantage of. You know that sometimes people hurt you simply because you allow them to, because you give them infinite opportunities to start over, and to hurt you again.

You know that your heart has been given to the wrong people, simply because time and time again, they’ve shown you that you’re not a priority. Yet, you struggle to detach because you’ve forgiven that person so many times, what’s one more? ‘They’ll change this time’—haven’t you told yourself that line before?

But forgiving someone who has no desire to change or to love you the way you need to be loved is not healthy. Being in a relationship with someone whose behavior, decisions, or actions continually bring you unhappiness and harm is abuse, not love.

You’ve lived the better half of your life putting others before yourself. When someone pushed you down, you forgave them, without question. When your significant other cheated, you gave him another chance. When someone walked out of your life, then later wanted to return, you opened the door.

And first, you must know that this isn’t necessarily bad, it’s just not healthy. Not when the behavior continually repeats itself. And not when there’s no true remorse or amends made to fix your broken heart.

You are the woman who forgives, who loves, who cares unconditionally. There is nothing wrong with that; in fact, your forgiving heart is beautiful. But you must also protect yourself, too.

There comes a time when your selflessness, when your second and third and fifteenth chances are only burdening you and breaking you down. There comes a time when the love you give is not inspiring someone to improve their own heart; it is simply enabling them to continue to hurt you.

And you don’t deserve that pain.

The world looks at women like you with disgust sometimes. People shake their heads, judge from the outside looking in and say that a woman who forgives her man for leaving, who cares for a backstabbing friend, or who takes back a bad boyfriend is weak.

You are not weak, though. You are strong for letting go of pain, strong for loving people despite their mistakes, strong for giving people chances, strong for knowing that we are all imperfect and sometimes we mess up.

Where you lose your strength is not in the act of forgiving, but when forgiveness comes without change. When you let someone in who isn’t truly sorry for breaking your heart. When you allow someone another chance who does not deserve it because he/she doesn’t really care, or has every intention to hurt you again.

And in these moments of realization—when you’re standing in front of the mirror, looking into your teary eyes, when you see a shady text message on his phone, when you catch someone lying behind your back, or when you know, beyond a doubt, that things won’t change—that’s when you must have the courage to forgive and to leave.

Sometimes people can’t love you the way you love them.

And sometimes you forgive people who might not deserve it. That’s no reflection on you. You just have to learn to take better care of your heart. You just have to understand that you are not a weak, pathetic person, but a strong one who needs to know her worth.

Don’t change who you are or the way you love, but do start giving chances to the right people. Start putting energy into relationships that build you and significant others who see the wonderful person you are and won’t fall short of giving you the love you deserve.

Start putting yourself first, and forgiving your own heart for the way you’ve let it be trampled upon by people who didn’t have your best interests in mind. Start learning that it’s okay to forgive people, but not okay to let them hurt you, over and over again.

Start loving yourself with the same tenacity and capacity you keep giving to everyone else.

 

 

 

Losing Virginity is not only an Action but a Feeling too….

I don’t technically know when I lost my virginity.

And honestly? I don’t think that’s a bad thing.

Was it at sixteen, the first time that I got naked with a guy? Was it a year later, with my first real boyfriend, both of us tangled in the sheets and consumed with both exhilaration and confusion? Does an emotional connection at the time count? Does it not? Does it count if I still had my bra on? Does it count if I didn’t do the same things to him as he did to me? What if there were toys? What if there was nothing but skin on skin?

These are the questions that come to my mind when I think about the so-called Holy Grail of sexual milestones, aka losing your virginity. The whole phrase in general is perplexing to me.

Virginity is, in all reality, an idea.

It’s intangible; so how can one “lose” it? Folks seem to generally agree that the process involves the first time that there is vaginal penetration with a penis (sorry for using the word penetration). Traditionally, there is supposed to be blood, but there isn’t always. Traditionally, it’s also supposed to be painful for a girl, but that isn’t always true, either. So what does all this mean for someone like me?

It completely invalidates my sexual experiences to label me as a virgin unless there’s been a penis present inside my body.

Does that mean I could sleep with a thousand men and still qualify as a virgin? What an asinine thought. It also insults and devalues my sense of self to label me as a non-sexual being until this arbitrary act occurs. My sexual status does not depend on a penis. I don’t need to have had sex with a man to become a woman, or to feel sexually powerful, and the idea that I do is harmful.

We also tend to place way too much importance and judgment on this singular event. Sleepovers with teenage girlfriends always include the question, “So, when did you lose your virginity?” The answer to that question decides so many things. If you “lost it” at fifteen, you’re a slut, and if you haven’t experienced that moment yet at twenty-one, you’re marked as frigid. There are so many other shades to sexual experiences, and so many other ways to discover and grow in your own sexuality, without demoting the entire process to a single event that, in one fell swoop, decides your entire future and reputation.

I decided on my own that I would choose the experience that I wanted to define as “losing my virginity.” But for me, that doesn’t have anything to do with the first time that a penis entered the vagina. I decided that an emotional connection did matter to me. I decided that what made the moment most significant for me was the overwhelming urge to bare all of myself, body and soul, to another person. It was the moment that I had no questions or concerns, the moment where the most important thing in the world was to connect as closely as I possibly could to the person in front of me. There was no fear, and no hesitation. It was a moment of complete trust, and it was blissfully simple because at the core of everything was just the feeling that I would surely implode without their touch. I lost myself in that moment, and I simultaneously saw myself.

That’s the moment I choose—the moment that changed me, and defined a vital part of who I am.

I think that choice is everyone’s right, and if that means you choosing a more traditional view of losing your virginity, that’s totally fine, too. But don’t feel that that moment has to define you if it wasn’t what you wanted it to be. Some girls remember their first time as painful, or even unwanted, but feel that they still have to label that experience as the one where they lost their virginity because of the more technical aspects of the phrase. I disagree. The moment doesn’t have to be perfect, but it should be special.

It’s your body, and your right to choose the experiences that help define who you are.

Benchmark!!!!

First in anything is always special. First bite of food in extreme hunger, first day of school, first day of college, first day of the first job, first teacher, first friend, first hug from mom, first kiss from dad, penning down the first letter on a new note, first day of a new year, first love, first gift, first wish on birthday, first success, first failure, first this, and first that! But it’s not a mandate for all the firsts to be the best. And that’s totally fine.

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As usual, the night hit, and she thanked the tears, for being colourless! With flash of events running in her head, she tried to reconcile them with reality, and resorted to hope, like she always does. But hope isn’t easy and especially when it becomes a habit – that being the beautiful irony of hope.

Waking up to another bright day with an even brighter smile was all that she did. For being strong was something she proudly inherited. Her first job. Not the dream job types. Not a job that she ever even imagined that she would land on. Not a happy happy first day of the first job that she expected. Not a novice at dissimulating things, she was all ready to face the day.

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A person who has lived life like TGIFs all this twenty-one odd years, felt the Monday blues for the first time. And this made her both edgy and excited, all at once. With so much of ambiguity, she stepped in to the office building. The blend of a pilgrim’s determination and a kid’s unstable heart made her to believe that the situation was good to go. She entered the floor, and opened the door with a subtly marinated smile.

The usual formalities and reporting, and she was asked to wait to complete all of them. With more than enough anxiety already, this idleness in a new place added superabundant fuel to it. She looked at people like a newborn that sees people for the first time. Finally, she was taken to her workstation and the introduction to the team happened. Her desk mate’s warm welcome helped in convincing her mind that she wasn’t in a wrong place.

When we believe in something, it shall never shatter us. Yes. She was a firm believer of the fact that no snowflake ever falls in the wrong place. And she was overwhelmed to see her belief slowly taking the real form. The people and the environment played a pivotal role for this transformation to happen. She was able to mend the broken pieces of her with the goodness of people around her. As a result of the good vibe that spread, she found a vicarious way to peace. With some, it was like regaining long lost friendship, while with some, it was the perfect sync of wavelength. untitled2

In addition to all this, she was able to reinvent another discreet self of her. The one she wasn’t aware that was actually existing within her. It’s the dark that beckons the light, she understood.

She aspired to become someone else, doing something totally different, and believed that’s her happy call. But this sudden turn has become an inevitable benchmark in her life. The things we want is not always the one we actually need, she recognised.

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Life has a wonderful sense of timing and is a prodigious executor as well. Sometimes, through faith is the way, and often faith itself is the way. That thin line of difference is all that matters!